Kristi Noem’s divorce puts Bryon in the spotlight after 34 years of a very different life

Before Bryon Noem became the subject of national headlines, he was part of a much quieter story: two teenagers from farming families in South Dakota who began dating, married and built a life together. Now, after 34 years of marriage, Kristi Noem is seeking a divorce , bringing that shared history under intense public scrutiny.

The former Homeland Security secretary’s attorney, Michael K. Sabers, confirmed the proceedings on September 29. He said Kristi would reserve further comments for the legal process. The complaint cites irreconcilable differences, according to reports based on court records. Bryon did not immediately respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment through his attorney.

The husband who shared her life before politics

Bryon and Kristi attended the same high school in Hamlin County. He was friends with her older brother, and their relationship began while she was still in high school and he had started college. They married on May 23, 1992, when Kristi was 20.

Less than two years later, their young marriage faced a devastating loss. Kristi’s father, Ronald Arnold, died in an accident inside a grain bin on the family farm in March 1994. Pregnant with their first child, Kristi left college to help manage the operation. Bryon joined her, her mother and her siblings in the work of keeping it running.

Their shared life grew around farming, business and three children: Kassidy, Kennedy and Booker. Bryon later moved into insurance and purchased the agency that became Noem Insurance in 2010. Their daughters married and became mothers themselves, adding grandchildren to a family whose beginnings preceded Kristi’s national political career.

That history gives the divorce a dimension easily lost beneath the controversy . The separation involves decades of work, parenthood and family milestones. Public documents can establish that a marriage is ending; they cannot fully explain what those years meant to the people inside it.

The scrutiny intensified in March, when the Daily Mail published photographs appearing to show Bryon in women’s clothing and reported that he had spent at least $25,000 interacting with online fetish models. A representative for Kristi said she was devastated and that the family had been blindsided. Those reports have become part of the public account of the separation, but the stated grounds for divorce do not establish a single cause for the breakdown.

Kristi also faced questions about allegations of an affair with Trump adviser Corey Lewandowski, which she had previously denied. The competing controversies created a stream of speculation about both spouses. They do not provide a complete account of their private relationship.

The divorce filing leaves much unresolved, including the terms of any settlement. More importantly, neither spouse has offered a detailed public explanation of how their marriage reached this point.

For now, Bryon’s story includes both the reports that brought him unwanted attention and the decades he spent as a husband, father and businessman. The legal process will address their separation; much of the life they shared may remain theirs alone.